Get away from me you alcoholic!

This guest seriously gets on my nerves!  Does he think we don't see how much alcohol he consumes?  You buy up to 4 bottles of wine a day, and when we serve alcohol you get about 6 beers, and sometimes wine!  I decided enough was enough, and told all staff he was only to be served 3 drinks period!

Now, this guy already doesn't like me.  I scolded him twice now for taking beer when we need to serve it, the last time he told someone he had to "fight a fat bitch for a beer".  You bet your ass you do... that's my ass on the line if anything happens to you or other guests.  Plus it's my hotel, my rules.  He's been there for SEVERAL months and knows the rules.  Fucking follow them or I'll cut you off.  Real talk.

Tonight he came down, and on his third bottle of beer I said "this will be the last beer we serve you tonight."  He said, "why am I the only one you limit?"  Me--"you drink more than anyone else."  Him--"you're really going to say that to me right now?"  Yes...yes I am.  Don't think I won't cut you off completely, keep being an asshole and see what happens.  Why don't you continue spending your MOTHER'S hard earned money on your booze and get out of my face.

Mr. Marriott's office calling

The phrase that can stop your heart when at work. Ohhhh no, what happened, who's complaining now. Most of the time you're in the right. I was following procedure, but this guy wasn't having it. Doesn't want customer care, he wants Mr Marriott. I will say the lady who called me was so incredibly nice and understanding, acting like I was doing her a favor.

Guest wants to check in but the other guy is paying for it. I say, well to check in I need a card to authorized but it can be changed at any time. Cut to him calling the other guy and the other guy yelling at me on the phone that I won't let this disabled person check in, how dare I (BTW what does being disabled have to do with the situation?) Although I don't know how he got to Mr Marriott's office he did and of course got what he wanted. Fucking people.

Reservation hell

One thing I fucking hate the most that can be all together avoided is having all information handy when calling to make a reservation.  It is most irritating to have to pull teeth to get people to give me everything when answering the phone.  Things like... what dates you need your reservation for.  Have your credit card ready, it is ALWAYS necessary when guaranteeing your reservation.  Are you traveling for business or leisure?  This one is most important because when I quote you a rate it is only as accurate as the information you are forthcoming with.  So if you expect me to give you the company rate... tell me what fucking company you work for... douche bag.
If your 'rate' is not available, please for the love of god do not ask me which days it is available.  IT'S NOT AVAILABLE AT ALL!  People are un-fucking-believable sometimes.  Don't go behind my back and book on-line so you have 15 reservations... that's really going to piss me off.
Do your research... our hotel charges for parking... rightfully so the whole city charges for parking.  Don't tell me the fee isn't on the website, we're not stupid of course it is.  If there is one thing you should know, its that we don't hide that kind of shit!  People think we want to put distress on ourselves?  Hell no, I don't like you yelling at me to my face anymore than people like being lied to.  Do yourself a favor, and either read the website correctly, or pick up the fucking phone and ask.  There's a novel idea, using the phone!
I don't like playing twenty questions and taking 10 minutes to make a reservation that should take no more than a few minutes, given how prepared you are.  Food for thought for all you travelers out there!

Anniversary Hell

Lady comes in with her red neck husband to check in. Their reservation mentioned it was their anniversary...how sweet. But this lady was not. We couldn't get her a view of the river in the type of room she booked but she was put in a very nice room. But of course when I told her she wouldn't see the river from her room she got pissed. 'I guess making my reservation two months in advance doesn't do anything. Why try? It's our anniversary I want it to be special.' Ok calm down....I wouldn't know what room we could put you in two months ago! Wtf?! We have you the best available room possible. Guest 'oh I don't want to hear your excuses.' Alright cool I got other things to do. People....this is how a hotel works....the people who leave that day is the selection of rooms I have to work with. You can not select a room a month...two months in advance. A request is a fucking request if we can accommodate we will. We are not out to get you or make your trip miserable because then you make my life miserable and why would I do that to myself? Get it in your head that when I tell you I did the best I could believe me I did. Now...my boss comes out and she yells at him for a bit while I bust my ass trying to find other options for grumpy gus. Finally moved her to a different type of room with a view of the river. Listen...if you bitch enough sometimes you will get your way but really were secretly hate your guts. And sometimes there really is NOTHING we can do and your just being an asshole. Just sayin.

There's a first time for everything

Guest came to check out...holding an open bottle of yellowtale wine. It took me a second but the coffee cup she was holding was also filled with wine. Wow...ummm have a good flight? Lol classy

Cut it out couples part 2

The drama continues with man and wife. She came back to the hotel wanting a key to his room which I denied. 'He's dunk and suicidal you may have a dead body in your hotel'...oh good shoot me now. Start calming her down I agreed to go to the room to check on the husband. He was fine...drunk but fine. Come back down and told her she needs to chill the fuck it and deal with your shit away from my hotel.

Cut it out couples

Please dear God do not bring your little couple dramas to my hotel. Guy gets drunk...fights with his wife.  Wife calls cops and ambulance to take him to the hospital. My morning now consists of the wife calling me begging not to give her husband a key to his own good damn room.  Are you fucking kidding me? It's his room!! According to the wife he is mentally ill and a drunk.  According to him...he just wants space and she won't give it to him.  I tried to help her out and held him off as long as I could...ultimately there was nothing I could do so we let him back in the room. Keep your lovers quarrel in your own fucking houses. Ok?